Sports Parenting 101- Leave Your Cell in the Car

As parents, we lead very busy lives. As coaches, unless they are our own; we don't go home with the kids. These two facts are what make parents happy someone else is in charge and coaches able to tolerate being in charge of groups of kids week-after-week.

As much of a break from our direct parenting responsibilities as it is for us to have our children participating in sports, it also should be considered an opportunity to later talk to our children about the experience. Sports create many worthwhile and meaningful opportunities for conversation, but only if we create availabilities in our thinking to promote them.

If worthwhile and meaningful conversations are important to us; they often begin when we, as parents, remember to unglue the cell phones from our ears and turn off the texting.  At this point, someone would arguably say, "Well, I can still have a conversation after practice with my child even if I do talk or text on my cellphone during practice."  And of course, that person would be right, but it would not be a meaningful and worthwhile conversation and here is why.  

Cell phones are distractions in more ways than just a technology that keeps our minds busy.  They are also distractions to our children and their performances on the field.  Children are smart and they can see what we are doing on the sidelines.  Even when they are younger, believe me, they know what you are doing and not doing.  And as they grow older, they will invariably begin to resent or act out because a cellphone is taking their Mom's or Dad's attention away from what they most want and that is for you to be watching them give their best effort on the field. 

This type of a distraction does matter because it interferes with the natural bond otherwise built between parent and child through sports. 

Children know, just like we do about them, when you are and are not watching them on the field.  It only takes asking, how do you think that makes them feel when we do not actively watch them perform?  And what really should pull at your heartstrings is considering that children's sole purpose in life is to make good impressions for us, their parents.  When we don't recognize their efforts it breaks their little hearts, and quite frankly it breaks my heart, as a coach, to see this happening.

As a coach, I plead for you to be responsibly aware of your actions on the sidelines especially when your children are performing for you.  I don't believe it unreasonable to expect us, as parents, to be present in our thinking during our children's sports performances.  And speaking as both a coach and a parent, my healthy suggestion is leave your cell phone in the car and see if it makes a difference on your conversations after practices.  If you're a longtime cell phone violator, the transition from connected Mom to tuned-in Mom could take a little time for children to get use to before you will see any significant results.   

See you in class,

~Coach Pickles